The Ugly Side of Beauty

​Beautiful. Smart. Funny. Full of Life.

She seems to have everything  going for her. She draws people to her without even trying to, and always has a wide smile on her face and an encouraging word for every person she meets. Many are in awe of both her inner and her outer beauty - me being one of them. But she doesn't seem to notice the impact she has on those around her. She doesn't see herself the way the rest of us see her; and if she notices...and if she does see, then she doesn't let it show. And I can't help but wonder why...

I recently read a post on social media put up by a young woman about my age who I have come to love and care about deeply. She spoke about a period in her life when she struggled to make friends with other girls in school. From the onset, these girls made it clear that they didn't like her, and when asked why, they answered by saying that they didn't know why - they just didn't like her. It was only later on in life that they confessed through emails that it was because the boys in school found her pretty, and also apologised for their immature behaviour in the past.
Despite this young woman's decision to forgive them and try to forget, that experience has stayed with her and still affects her to this day - sometimes causing her to dress down in an effort not to attract so much attention as well as not to intimidate other women.
Reading this post broke my heart - not only because of what she went through, but also because it's something that I can relate to...

I was in a similar situation not too long ago. My experience is a bit different from hers, but I struggled just as much to form friendships with certain girls who I later found out were intimidated by my looks and the way I carried myself; and it stood in the way of our forming a friendship. When I found this out, it affected me so much that I stopped dressing up and wearing makeup as often as I usually would in an effort to blend in rather than to stand out.
I find it so sad that we can still be struggling with things like this in this day and age. 😔You would think that by now we'd have realized that we are stronger together as women; but we still occasionally let our differences and insecurities tear us apart. What's even worse is that we don't realize the negative impact these differences and insecurities are having on us -  even worse is the negative impact they are having on those around us.
I myself have been guilty of creating a barrier between myself and other girls whose choices in life I didn't agree with, or fully understand - up until I grew up and realised that that just makes me part of the problem. For all I know, these girls probably feel the same way that I felt - in need of female friends who they can talk to and walk with; but excluded by these same females, which, in turn, pushes them to make the decision to walk alone.

Fashion designer Jenna Lyons says, "When something isn't as beautiful as it can be, the reason is always bigger than the thing." And this is also true in regards to women. There have been so many instances in my past that have made me realize that, if we women knew each other's individual battles, we'd be more sympathetic towards each other. As is evidenced by the story I spoke about above, whatever is preventing a woman from fully being her beautiful self is more of a problem than the fact that she isn't fully being her beautiful self. And, as women, we should make it our business to help each other solve these problems, and, in turn, work towards reaching our full individual potential. Being our sisters' keepers should be the first thing we do - not alienating them. And if we can't do that, then we will be failing ourselves as well as each other.

To all the women who have been mentally and emotionally scarred by other women, I apologize on our behalf; and it is my prayer that we can do whatever is possible to heal the wounds that we've made on each other's hearts and lives.❤️​

- ✗O✗O.