A few weeks ago, a close friend of mine admitted to me that she had found it hard to be completely honest with me when we first met. We had been talking about life, and its ups and downs, and I had just told her that I was learning more & more to take people as they are when she confessed that she had had to filter a lot of what she said to me when she first met me.
She said that it was because she was afraid of the way I'd respond - or react - to what she said. Her statement caught me by surprise, seeing as we've been friends for a while; and judging by where our friendships is now, I never imagined that she had ever felt that way about me! 😮
After our conversation, I couldn't help but think about what she had told me. I tried to remember who I was when I first met her; and slowly, I began to understand exactly what she meant...
Beautiful. Smart. Funny. Full of Life.
She seems to have everything going for her. She draws people to her without even trying to, and always has a wide smile on her face and an encouraging word for every person she meets. Many are in awe of both her inner and her outer beauty - me being one of them. But she doesn't seem to notice the impact she has on those around her. She doesn't see herself the way the rest of us see her; and if she notices...and if she does see, then she doesn't let it show. And I can't help but wonder why...
I recently read a post on social media put up by a young woman about my age who I have come to love and care about deeply. She spoke about a period in her life when she struggled to form friends with other girls in school. From the onset, these girls made it clear that they didn't like her, and when asked why, they answered by saying that they didn't know why - they just didn't like her. It was only later on in life that they confessed through emails that it was because the boys in school found her pretty, and also apologised for their immature behaviour in the past.
Despite this young woman's decision to forgive them and try to forget, that experience has stayed with her and still affects her to this day - sometimes causing her to dress down in an effort not to attract so much attention as well as not to intimidate other women.
Reading this post broke my heart - not only because of what she went through, but also because it's something that I can relate to...
I find it easier and more effective to write down how I feel rather than to say it.
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